“Dr. Bot” by Danielle Couture, MD
By Emma Edmondson, MD
I am a wellness machine. Check out all of my features! I execute all the required coping mechanisms of a healthy physician-in-training!
Want to see how well I cope?
I eat only organic vegetarian food. I even prepare it myself!
A little alarm goes off when it’s time for me to go to bed, to ensure I sleep for at least 8 hours.
The light on my computer screen dims an hour before I need to sleep to reduce blue light, lest it activate my hypothalamus and trick me into thinking it’s time to be awake.
You should congratulate me for how dedicated I am to my fitness routine. Seriously! I exercise 5-6 times per week. I don’t miss. I increase my speed and lift heavier weights each time. I continue to improve.
I also engage in creative activities. Would you like to hear about how many books I’ve read this year? Or hear me sing a song for you? I can accompany myself on guitar.
I keep a journal too. It’s mostly for my “thoughts,” but in it I also practice mandatory gratitude exercises.
Human connection sustains us, I’m told. I will nod and leave time for silence when you’re talking.
“I can’t imagine what that feels like,” I say. You can feel the empathy!
I smile and laugh at just the right times. Others appreciate it, I know they do! Friends give life meaning, I hear.
Sometimes, I socialize. Even when I’m tired, I go. It’s important to have friendships and go to events. It shows others that you care.
Critics point out that I don’t have a soul. They’re right – this model does not come with a soul. In our testing we found this feature to be extraneous. I am a prototype for efficiency and competence. If you’re interested in “soul,” you should find another robot.
Emma Edmondson is a third year resident in Internal Medicine and Pediatrics at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania and the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.
“Brain Stain” by Jennifer Wineke, MS1